28 Dratchets
by Lithyka
Summary: Optimistic swordfighter Drift and sarcastic, experienced Ratchet, facing the challenges of the 28 Character meme.
1. Jealous

Disclaimer: I do not own the Transformers. So, this is my second attempt at this 28 Character Meme, as Sideswipe was driving me insane. I'm doing it with a pairing this time- I reckon it's far more interesting and easy to work out, so first up- Jealous.

* * *

Drift didn't really like Tailgate.

In fact, he didn't like Tailgate at all. Not only was the young bot annoying and naïve, but when he was in the medbay…

He just got all the attention.

Not just Ratchet's. Every single bot in the medbay, be it First Aid, Rewind, or even Rodimus, gave Tailgate their full attention.

And Drift was jealous.

He didn't like to admit it at first. It didn't seem right to be jealous of someone he didn't even consider a rival.

But he'd finally snapped when Tailgate walked into the medbay that morning, when he and Ratchet had been having a conversation. Ratchet had turned to greet Tailgate, and Drift had simply glared at the blue mech and stalked away, doubting that anyone had even noticed him.

It was early afternoon now, and Tailgate had left.

Drift, seething on the inside, approached Ratchet, hands on his hips.

"Ratchet!"

The medic turned, somewhat surprised to see his lover looking so furious.

"Drift… what's the matter?"

Drift folded his arms across his chest, tears stinging his optics. He fought them back and glared at Ratchet.

"Tailgate!" he shouted. "Tailgate's the matter!"

"I don't-"

"Every single time!"

Ratchet took a step back, holding up his hands in surrender.

"Drift- what do you mean?"

Drift took a sharp intake, and promptly burst into tears.

"Every time he comes here… you all give him your attention! This morning! You just- you just completely forgot about me, and…"

Ratchet took Drift into his arms as the younger mech's words broke off into sobbing.

"Drift," he finally said. "So it's about the attention?"

Drift nodded, burying his helm in Ratchet's chest plate.

Ratchet sighed, and held him at an arm's length, a small smile breaking over his face.

"Drift, how do I tell you this… The thing with Tailgate, is that- he's so ticklish, he needs all of us to hold him down. If I even barely brush against him, he starts giggling like, well, Tailgate."

Drift folded his arms again, glaring up at Ratchet through his tears.

"I don't believe you," he stated.

"Oh really?" asked Ratchet, and grabbed Drift's wrists with one hand, pinning them behind his back, and slipping his other hand down Drift's side.

"Ratchet! What- arrgh! Ratchet!"

The medic found himself laughing alongside his lover, while still tickling him non-stop.

"Please… Stop! No- Stop it!"

Ratchet traced his fingers along Drift's underarms, causing him to drop to his knees, shaking with laughter.

"Nope," he refused, as the swordsmech gasped for breath, tears running down his face.

"Okay- what- stop it- what do you want?!"

Ratchet continued tickling Drift as he pretended to think over it.

"Acceptance," he finally said.

Drift choked on a giggle, and attempted to push his hands away.

"Okay, okay."

"Say it."

"I believe you! I BELIEVE YOU!"


	2. Daring

Disclaimer: I don't own the Transformers!

This chapter's shorter, but I couldn't find a way to make it longer. I think it's okay like this anyways.

If you like it, leave a review! If you don't, leave one anyways!

* * *

"So, do you think I should do it?"

Ultra Magnus frowned at Ratchet's question, thinking it over. It wouldn't affect him too much, as he was close to neither Drift nor Ratchet, but he still liked to analyse everything carefully before answering.

"It's up to you," he finally stated. "If you really want it, do it."

* * *

"Drift?" Ratchet called, various little voices in his processor sending him many different opinions on what he was about to do.

Drift turned and looked up at him, his blue optics lighting up at the sight of the medic.

"Drift…"

The warrior laughed, his voice edged with amusement.

"I know, Ratch. I like my name too."

Ratchet dropped to his knees, taking Drift by surprise.

"Drift, bond with me."

The smile slipped off his face, and Ratchet felt a wave of humiliation wash over him- what if Drift said no? How could he have thought this would work?

Drift took his hand and pulled him up to his feet.

Ratchet stared at him in shock, dropping his gaze to their entwined hands.

Drift wordlessly opened his spark chamber.


	3. Silly

Disclaimer: I do not own the Transformers, read and review, all that usual junk.

Thanks to SkylarRatchet for the amusing roleplay.

* * *

"I still can't recharge."

Ratchet rolled over to face his bondmate.

"Try closing your mouth," he recommended, and turned around again, having silenced Drift.

"Ratchet?"

"Drift, what is it this time?"

"I still can't recharge."

"I know. Now shut up."

"But I can't-"

"I KNOW!"

Ratchet, annoyed, sat up and glared down at Drift.

"Maybe if you stopped talking like Swerve on high grade and relaxed, you'd be able to recharge!"

His bondmate stared back at him, his expression a cross between amused and terrified in the moonlight. Ratchet sighed and lay back down. At least Drift would be quiet now. A few minutes later, he found himself in a state of semi-unconsciousness.

"Ratchet?"

"Drift! What is it?"

"Why are energon cubes cube-shaped?"

"Because they're energon cubes. Now shut up."

"But why are they shaped like cubes?"

Ratchet groaned. Drift wasn't going to let him recharge until he got a straight answer.

"I don't know."

He had never really thought about the shape of energon cubes before. Sure, he'd pricked himself on the corners, but he'd never actually cared about why they were shaped like that.

"That's not fair to the energon cubes," Drift stated. "They deserve to know why they are what they are."

"Honestly, Drift."

"It's true. Identity is a part of freedom. And Optimus Prime once said, 'Freedom is the right of all-'"

"Sentient beings. And last time I checked, energon cubes did not think for themselves."

"How do you know? Have you actually studied their processors?"

"Energon cubes don't have processors, Drift."

"Oh really? How do you know?"

"Because they don't."

"But why?"

"I swear, if you say the word 'why' one more time, I'll weld your aft to Swerve's."

"Why?"

Ratchet raised his left arm and lightly thumped it down on Drift's shoulder plate.

"Ow."

"You asked for it."

"No I didn't! I asked why you'd weld my aft to Swerve's."

"Because you're both annoying."

"Aww, Ratch… you don't find me annoying, do you?"

"I do. Now stop giving me those puppy eyes and go to recharge."

"Not until you tell me why energon cubes are shaped like cubes."

"Storage purposes. Ease of transport. Ease of consumption."

"But why aren't they shaped like cylinders? That's easier to drink from."

"You try hooking up an IV to a cylindrical energon cube."

"You can't get cylindrical energon cubes. Because you can't get cylindrical cubes."

"Fine. Cylindrical energon containers. Happy?"

"No. Not until you tell me why they aren't spheres."

"Spheres roll."

"So do cubes."

"Tell me, Drift, how often do you see energon cubes roll away when Tailgate drops them?"

"Every day."

"That's called sliding."

"Oh."

"Good. Now shut up."

"Not until you tell me why they aren't cones! Or pyramids! Or pentagonal prisms!"

"Shut up, Drift."

"Not until you tell me."

"Fine. Energon cubes are not shaped like cones because that is physically impossible, because they are cubes."

"Properly."

"Alright, alright. Energon cubes are not shaped like cones because cones are virtually impossible to stack and store, so they therefore waste space. Cones are also hard to hold and drink from, and spill easily. They are also inconvenient to use for medical purposes. Besides, cones don't hold enough. They're not very efficient. And they can't even roll properly.

"As for pyramids- pyramids are basically cones, only with shapes other than circles as the base. They prick your fingers easily, and the edges make it hard to hold. Pyramids don't stand very well, unless if you cut them through the point, and they are just as difficult to store.

"Pentagonal prisms are… Drift, are you still listening?"

Ratchet rolled over to look at his bondmate, and found him curled up against the wall, his pillow in his arms like a teddy bear. The young mech giggled quietly in his recharge, and held the pillow tighter, the expression etching itself onto his face.

He couldn't help but glow with pride at the sight.

Drift could be a nuisance, but his spark was in the right place.

And at the end of the day, Ratchet would give anything to see him smile.


	4. Kick-ass

Disclaimer: I don't own the Transformers. My latest attempt at being funny.

* * *

"Ratchet? What does kick-ass mean?"

Ratchet turned around from his collection of spray paint.

"It means to kick a donkey," he replied sarcastically.

* * *

"Drift… don't tell me you actually tried it.


End file.
